She looks like Victoria Beckham, heehee :D
Really, this thing is boiling me whenever I think about it. How I wish, I can move house and live with my sisters. See, even if we quarrel, we tend to say sorry in the end.
I just have something to say to her:
Don't ask me, to change my temper, when you yourself haven even change. It's a joke, when you ask people to change their temper, & yours is exactly the same. Can't you reflex yourself on the damn mirror when you wake up?? You keep pointing out people's mistake, people's error, BUT YOU YOURSELF you never see your own mistake. You keep having this stupid and naive thinking that, whatever you do, is right. & you never spare a thought or put yourself in their shoe. Human make mistakes right? & they learn from their mistake, and that's what they call it EXPERIENCE. You said, you got more experiences with me. What shit did you leant? After forty+ years of your freaking life, what did you learn? Or what do you know? Until now, today this moment this freaking damn second, you still think that you have changed?? You think that, you've done the right way? You can tell God, that you're right and I'm wrong. But I touch my heart, and I tell God, I'm trying to change my temper. Not because of you, I change it for myself. I know, God is listening and is willing to give me a chance to change. But you, all you think is, I'm stupid, Hopeless, Useless, because I study ITE, and to you and your freaking collegues, ITE means It's The End. F* your thinking. I know, his smarter cus his taking private Os. Don't compare me with others, then AT THE FIRST PLACE WHY DID YOU BORN ME OUT? I know, you're unhappy with this family. Please, don't make me dislike you more. Cus I won't, be as close to you as before if you keep doing this. I know, my temper is bad, I know. I admit, it's damn hard to change. Everytime when there's a quarrel, I tried sooo hard to control my temper not to talk back to you. I tried, at least I tried. I know, I'm stupid and useless. Because I never do household. I know, you think you're smarter then me. Do you think I want it that way? Stop trying to show or prove to me that, I'm stupid. I KNOW IT MYSELF. You see, I know who treated me well who treated me bad. I know. What you said to me, is obviously an impact on me. Well, you didn't know. Cus whatever you said out, it never cross your mind. You just said what's on your freaking mind. You read Buddha teaching book. & the book taught you that, think twice before saying. Did you even use it? If you don't, then wtf you read it for? You read and read and you can tell me not to do bad, to control my temper. BUT YOU? ALL YOU DO IS TO POINT PEOPLE'S MISTAKE BUT YOU, YOU THINK YOU'RE PREFECT?? See, I'm trying not to scold bad word. Next time, when you ever lose your f*king temper on me, you'll watch it. Don't blame me, you freaking ask for it. See, how unhappy I'm with you now? :)
WOO! Pour out all my feelings and I'm feeling better. Exams coming :(
(Back to my hug.♥)
Wednesday, November 10, 2010